Dream Chasing 101

I have decided to start writing about this monumental change that is coming about in my life. Maybe one day I will reflect back on this to remember how it all began, or maybe to use as a road map to figure out how I arrived at where ever I am. Tonight I sit in this big old, empty house lost in thought. I have sold most the things that I own, the things that within them, my identity has been kept, neatly folded like a pair of socks. Now, weeks before I actually leave for Belize, I sit alone in this house, overwhelmed with emotions. Doubt, fear, uncertainty, excitement and anxiety all seem to fight for my attention. Thoughts fly around my head like the debris from a tornado, never really knowing whats about to come crashing through the window. Wondering if tomorrow I will wake up in Oz, and if so, will there be a yellow brick road to follow. I know I am following my heart, I know I want to make a new life, write a new chapter. However, the thought of leaving all the people I know and all the things I know, at times seems larger than life. Dreams can be strange bedfellows, tempting us with their grandeur, but sometimes not listing their full price. At times there is so much we don't realize thats lost in the fine print and when you give up your life to follow a dream, you never want to get visited by the repo-man. They say right before you die, your mind is filled with visions and thoughts of all the good things in your life that stand out in your memory. I think making dramatic changes in your life can often do the same thing. I know in the last weeks as I watch my belongings be carried off in trucks and trailers, my mind has been flooded with memories that make me smile. Oh what a good life I have lived, not so much in maybe that I was the best person I could have been, but, I have had an amazing life. So tonight my thoughts echo and bounce off these barren walls and I ponder what life has in store for me as I manifest my existence. All the while knowing, dream chasing can be a risky business.