Cliff diving for pennies

Two days here in Belize, as a resident and Im not sure I will even be able to find the words to describe it all. Its just to big, to much to even process, let alone write about. The internet is much like the cool ocean breeze, not here as much as I hoped it would be, but getting that fixed and will be better about writing about this adventure and staying in touch with everyone who has been emailing. Getting on that plane in Lafayette was tough, I really had to suck it up and reach way down deep. I remember when I was young and was at Hamiltons pool in Austin, back in the day you could jump off the cliffs. I was with my life long friend, Scott White. Here we both were on top of this cliff, neither of us sure we could jump. As the crowd below began taunting us, a girl walks up and calmly walks to the edge and dives off the cliff. The crowd below went nuts, we had no choice at this point....so we jumped. Getting on the plane felt just like that. I could taste the fear in my mouth and it tasted like a copper penny. All the while praying that that was not going to be the sum value of all my decisions. Trying to weigh what lay ahead to that of which I was leaving behind was impossible, and overwhelming. To make matters even harder to understand, I will say now, I fell madly in love in the month before I left, that was the curve ball that life had thrown me. I have still not figured that one out, but of all things in life never to be figured out, Love is on top of the list. How could life tease me with something I have wanted forever, as Im walking out the door. Once again, I thought of jumping off that cliff.....and I thought about that penny. And as that plane took off and I watched all that I knew and loved fade away into little specs out of the window of that plane, and all I could do was hope that nothing ate the bread crumbs I was dropping to find my way back home some day. My first day was taxing and incredibly frustrating. Nothing went as planned. The bank needed more documents, things I didnt have, my PO box wasnt ready, my belongings are stuck in customs; I felt like I was going to scream. But then I was reminded by a local couple, slow down, get used to it. Look out on the ocean and remember why your here. Its the American mindset I have to get rid of first. I am a foreigner here, they do things on their time and at their pace. Getting used to this will be a good thing, and, I have no choice, this is Belizian time. I Still have not found a vehicle, I dont think there is a jeep in Belize. Looks like Im going with a Toyota forerunner. Tomorrow I go to the Island, that will be a whole other world.....

Let me end this post by saying, amidst the frustration, the fear, the heat, the sand flies, the sadness from leaving the girl who has my heart.....I will say, its all good. I know this is where I need to be. I will figure it all out, I will make it happen. This morning while sitting here writing this, drinking my coffee and looking out over the Caribbean, this strange bird that looked like some kind of parrot flew into the tree in front of my porch. Its song was hauntingly melodic, and I wondered if this was some kind of a sign.......all the while, these words kept running through my mind....."Totto, were not in Kansas anymore".......