Today was a big day, even though most of my days in the last two months have been big. But today it was all done, it has all come together, everything is sold, contracts signed, and now, all that is left of all the things I used to own, is on a ship headed to Belize. What a strange and liberating thing it has been to rid myself of everything that has taken 40 (+) years to acquire. However, I was as close as I have ever come to having a panic attack as I looked at the pallet on which all of my belonging were stacked in plastic boxes that reminded me of legos. All that is left now for me to do is trust my ability to make this happen, that is the only answer left on this multiple choice test the Universe has given me. The winds of change are blowing and Im about to raise my sail and point my bow towards the unknown. Fear is not welcome in my head anymore, its to late for that, there is not room for both of us.
For now........I think of the words of James Broughton;
Having Come This Far
I've been through what my through was to be
I did what I could and couldn't
I was never sure how I would get there
I nourished an ardor for thresholds
for stepping stones and for ladders
I discovered detour and ditch
I swam in the high tides of greed
I built sandcastles to house my dreams
I survived the sunburns of love
No longer do I hunt for targets
I've climbed all the summits I need to
and I've eaten my share of lotus
Now I give praise and thanks
for what could not be avoided
and for every foolhardy choice
I cherish my wounds and their cures
and the sweet enervation's of bliss
My book is an open life
I wave goodbye to the absolutes
and send my regards to infinity
I'd rather be blithe than correct
Until something transcendent turns up
I splash in my poetry puddle
and try to keep God amused
This poet was a true teller of your soul...Wow, you could have written this yourself.
ReplyDeleteI envy you. That palette looks liberating. Stuff can weigh one down. There is great freedom in being readily mobile my friend.
"Sail on" I say ....I'm excited for you. I tell everyone about your new life that you are creating.
Karen F.
You should of been a writer. I think your sail is heading just in the right direction to nourish your soul. I tip my hat to you again, my friend and I will keep you in my prayers also. Name it, claim it, receive it, you have it all, don't let any wave slow you down.. Until next post.. best of luck and I will see you in Belize...
ReplyDeletecandy man...sail on brother...you are headed where most of us are too afraid to go without our "belongings"..our humanity and love for others is all that really matters in this life..
ReplyDeleteI will miss you my dear friend....que dios te bendiga.....
The years teach much which the days never know.
ReplyDelete- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It's always hard to measure the difference we're making in this world one day at a time, but when you take a step back to do just what you've had to do & archive, pack & ship off all of your belongings & memories, you're able to look at your life as a whole and the many differences you've made. It also makes us realize that 20 years from now, what is it that we would like to be looking back on? What would be so important for us to be collecting? The truth of the matter is that a difference is made one day at a time, one choice at a time. You spoke so eloquently about the multiple choice test of the universe. Well, the final exam sometimes doesn't come until the end. Sometimes you don't get critiqued until your final goodbye. So don't worry so much about the test. Focus on the lessons along the way and at the end of each day if you can go to sleep and say, "job well done"...You've Passed...You have the spirit of a champion and just the fact that you understand that courage isn't the absence of fear, it is acting in spite of it, says that you are ready for this journey. Sail away my friend and be happy.
Speaking as one who packed up her life into a moving van nearly 20 years ago and "sailed" away to where I am now, I can say, without a doubt, most of what you have rid yourself with, you'll not miss. I wish I'd have purged but clung to familiar things - stuff - and now after dragging it around with me, have been purging it anyway. You'll be glad you did it ahead of time.
ReplyDeleteI'm as excited for you as I'm sure my friends were for me 20 years ago. It is excitement and fear all wrapped up into one super adreneline rush! Just keep breathing - you're doing great!
See you in Belize!
You Got This........
ReplyDeleteDear tinman!!! truly out with the old and in with the new.. how refreshing to see you step out in this new direction.. Let those sails wave high in the air..your new journey begins and do not look back..I envy you...I am also extremely happy for you and your courage and determination is amazingly inspiring.. Sail on my dear friend.. sail on...
ReplyDelete